what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
