You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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