so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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