this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
