you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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