I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
