Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
