I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i already hear my dad disowning me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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