Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
