he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize