do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
