Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
