doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
