I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The best revenge is premature balding
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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