why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
