When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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