Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Houston, we have a blender
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
