i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize