its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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