he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
