the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
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