don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize