If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
