Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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