Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
