okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
