First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
