in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize