the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
