I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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