i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
