I smell stomach acid.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
