If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
