sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
