idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
A+ Viking dick
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
