their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just high enough for therapy.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
