I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
