Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
