Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
