He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
