i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
