I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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