Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
