We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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