i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
