How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize