i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
