She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
