yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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