Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize