U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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