It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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