Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
