Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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