Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize