Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
