Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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