I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
