I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
