Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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