i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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