Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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