I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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