am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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