Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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